


Jealous (Sanders Sides)

by playertwoisheereandqueer



Series: The Sides Project [15]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: Deceit Sanders NOT being an asshole, Good Deceit Sanders, I didn't make them bad guys this time, I loved this song and I tried to make it as not shippy, It's a song fic too, Other, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, This is much the same as the other two, but ya know, look - Freeform, yay!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-04 00:44:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15830259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/playertwoisheereandqueer/pseuds/playertwoisheereandqueer
Summary: It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way, you're happy without me.Deceit thinks about how much he misses Anxiety, but how Anxiety clearly doesn't miss him.A song fic to 'Jealous' by Labrinth.





	Jealous (Sanders Sides)

**I'm jealous of the rain**

**That falls upon your skin**

**It's closer than my hands have been**

**I'm jealous of the rain**

He’d been gone for a long time now. He missed him a lot.

And he was unbelievable jealous of him.

He was able to get out. He was free, able to come in and out at will. Deceit was stuck where he was until he was called upon, which was very rarely. And so he was stuck here. Honestly… he just missed being in close contact with Virgil. Virgil bought out the best in him, and the other two, they were just too much.

**I'm jealous of the wind**

**That ripples through your clothes**

**It's closer than your shadow**

**Oh, I'm jealous of the wind**

They’d been close once. Virgil would come to him for anything he needed. But he’d stopped over every now and then, only when he was really needed, and it looked like he’d been replaced. It shouldn’t have hurt so much, but it did.

 

**'Cause I wished you the best of all this world could give**

**And I told you when you left me**

**There's nothing to forgive**

When Virgil left, Deceit had pretended to be happy for him. Virgil hadn’t seen through the lie, which was almost impossible and frankly, quite hurtful. Virgil had apologised to him. Deceit had said there was nothing to apologise for, which there wasn’t, of course. If it what was what Virgil had thought was best for him, Deceit would let him go.

 

**But I always thought you'd come back**

**Tell me all you found was heartbreak and misery**

**It's hard for me to say**

**I'm jealous of the way**

**You're happy without me**

He’d let him go because he thought he’d come back to him. See whatever Deceit saw whenever he got the chance to go out into the world. A world that didn’t accept him, that looked down on him and thought him a hindrance. But he didn’t. And the god honest truth, something very hard for Deceit to do, was the way Virgil seemed happier without him, and he hated that. Because Deceit was not happy without Virgil.

 

**I'm jealous of the nights**

**That I don't spend with you**

**I'm wondering who you lay next to**

**Oh, I'm jealous of the nights**

He wondered who took care of Virgil when he had nightmares. Was it Patton? Roman? Logan? Virgil wouldn’t be able to fall asleep by himself after a nightmare. His anxiety would be through the roof. In the Dark Side, he’d come to Deceit.

 

**I'm jealous of the love**

**Love that was in here**

**Gone for someone else to share**

**Oh, I'm jealous of the love**

They had once been close, yes. There was a lot of love in their friendship, stuff that even Deceit couldn’t fake. But it was gone now. The others claimed they loved him, and they did get quite clingy… But they needed him to stay alive. Virgil could’ve survived without him, and he was. Someone else was feeling the love Deceit was once feeling. He wanted that again, but he would never feel that again.

 

**'Cause I wished you the best of all this world could give**

**And I told you when you left me**

**There's nothing to forgive**

He was still hoping that Virgil would come back, but at the same time he wasn’t. He didn’t belong with them. Virgil popped in every now and then to shut down the other two and tell Deceit off, and he’d leave looking confused and at peace, and Deceit didn’t want it to hurt him.

 

**But I always thought you'd come back**

**Tell me all you found was heartbreak and misery**

**It's hard for me to say**

**I'm jealous of the way**

**You're happy without me**

He saw what he’d wanted to see in Virgil’s eyes whenever he came back to the Dark Side, but he didn’t want to see that anymore. As if everything would hit him… But he was so much happier with the Light Sides, and as much as that killed him, he wanted that for Virgil, wanted him to be happy.

**As I sink in the sand**

**Watch you slip through my hands**

**Oh, as I die here another day**

**'Cause all I do is cry behind this smile**

He couldn’t let go, but Virgil was rapidly slipping away, and that was hurting Deceit a lot. The thing that hurt the most was that he could rapidly feel himself fading away because he just couldn’t be bothered trying to make Thomas lie anymore because that meant making contact with the people who hurt him the most.

 

**I wished you the best of all this world could give**

**And I told you when you left me**

**There's nothing to forgive**

Sure, there was nothing to forgive, it made Virgil happy. He wished him the best, obviously, because he was still the best friend he’d ever had.

**But I always thought you'd come back**

**Tell me all you found was heartbreak and misery**

**It's hard for me to say**

**I'm jealous of the way**

**You're happy without me**

He’d desperately hoped he’d come back, but he was happier, and that killed him, quite a lot.

**It's hard for me to say**

**I'm jealous of the way**

**You're happy without me**

He didn’t know how to say it. He’d never told anyone. But he was jealous.

Jealous of the way he was happy without him.

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXD52y9jsOU
> 
> that's the song, amigos! I loved this one, and I needed a new Sympathetic Deceit story, so I gave it a shot!


End file.
